Recap – The 1st of July

“Yesterday marks the end of half a year. Today marks the beginning to the end of the year. Is life all there is to what we see of it?”

Date: 1st July 2007, 12:22am

It is approximately 1 and a half hour when I started writing this journal in which the last day of half a year will pass. Like the saying goes - times really flies! Just another half a year more and we will bid this year goodbye and welcome another brand new year. Half a year consist of 184 days which is 4,416 hours which is 264,960 minutes which is also 15,987,600 seconds. That's a lot of seconds if you look at the figures but seconds are just like the air we breathe; the air which our hands are unable to grasp; the air that will just slip us by.

How will you like to live this 2nd half of the year then?

I have come to realise that through the past few years whatever I have achieved in life such as how I managed to move up with the ranks on the corporate ladder of my career or the few relationships I have been through or etc. I have never been able to solve the mystery of the heart. Thus, returning back to ground zero once again. To the origin and beginning in a search for what lies in life itself? Where will it lead to? What is the meaning to it? What is the purpose of it all?

After writing this, I might again bury myself in the midst of the busy and hectic schedule in this little city. However, I am sure this will come and hunt me again. For I have been running away from this for years only to find myself returning to pose the same questions over and over again. Perhaps I do know the answer but am just unwilling to conform to it. Human nature, we just want our ways, don't we?

Sometimes, we just have to get ourselves slap in the face in order to reckon the truth and answer which we have already know since a long time ago. We just choose to ignore or to find a thousand and one reasons there are to put away what we should do. Because we like to think we are wise enough to know what is right or good for us. Or maybe we are just pure wilful? Will I finally be able to put an end to the merry-go-rounds which I have been running about? I am not sure but I guess it is time. This time, hopefully I will submit my heart to put things right and will it in the direction it should go.

The Last Day of June... the Last Day to which Half a Year will be gone... How will you want to live the next half to the year? How will you want to live this life from this second on? For the minutes and seconds of the First Day of the second half of the year has started to tickle away...

Date: 1st July 2009, 10:10pm

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. James 4:13-14

I would love to continue on what exactly happened a year later but this entry will be far way too long. Thus, I should leave you with an ending question:

Have you ever felt the same way like what I have written 2 years ago?

(If yes, I will greatly encourage you to continue to my previous entry which is just below – “Life’s Answer” and please read on)